They say if you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, but if you teach him to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. This timeless wisdom highlights the importance of empowering others with the tools, knowledge, and skills to succeed on their own. True impact comes from nurturing self-reliance and long-term growth, rather than offering quick fixes. When we help others take control of their own journey, we pave the way for lasting change and independence.

As a mother, I often find myself torn between wanting to step in and do things for my kids and letting them figure it out on their own because I know it will make them stronger. It’s a delicate balance, and some days, it feels like I’m walking a tightrope. But other days, I’m practically doing cartwheels on that line! Let me share a little story about one of those ‘teaching them to fish’ moments…

My 11-year-old daughter is a competitive gymnast, which keeps her busy every afternoon and evening during the week. Recently, she expressed interest in joining our CrossFit gym, but the kids’ class conflicted with her gymnastics schedule. Determined to make it work, she asked if she could join me at the 6 a.m. adult class before school. I was impressed by her initiative and commitment!

Now, my husband had already sort of, kind of mentioned something like this to one of the owners a few months before. At that time, the owner said that in order to be in the adult class, members needed to be able to drive themselves to and from the gym. Well, my kid can’t drive (no matter how much she thinks she can!), so I knew her joining that class with me was probably unlikely. However, she was insistent on going so I told her she needed to talk to the owners herself…

And that’s exactly what she did! She arranged a face-to-face meeting with the gym owners and sat down with them to discuss her options. As we approached the gym, I wished her good luck and began to walk away. Surprised, she quickly spun around and asked, “WAIT! You’re not coming with me?” I smiled and said, “If you’re adult enough to want to join the class, then you’re adult enough to have this conversation on your own.

I watched as she nervously approached the owners, offering them a small, hopeful smile. My heart was racing, and I tried not to watch too closely—my mama instincts were in overdrive. Was she ready? Had she prepared enough? Would she remember all the points she wanted to make? How would they respond? And if they said ‘no,’ would it crush her spirit? A million thoughts were swirling through my head, so I decided it was best not to look.

Before long, the three of them came walking over to me—everyone grinning from ear to ear. After confidently presenting her case to the owners, explaining why she should be allowed to join the 6 a.m. adult class, they both agreed: she was ready to start!

Tears of admiration and appreciation welled up in my eyes. Here was my eleven-year-old daughter, standing confidently before two adults, advocating for something she truly wanted—something she believed she could achieve and wholeheartedly deserved. And she did it! She got it!

It would have been much easier for me to approach them myself one morning and request that she be allowed to join me. A quick text message would have sufficed, and taking charge myself would have certainly reduced my stress. But what lesson would she have learned from that? Only that “Mom will handle it for me.

Encouraging her to take the initiative to arrange a face-to-face meeting (no texting allowed!), articulate her key points, and follow through on her own provided her with invaluable lessons that far exceeded anything words could express.

She learned that if she wants something, she must put in the effort to achieve it; that using her voice to ask for what she desires is essential; that having tough, sometimes scary conversations is part of the process; and that it’s okay to face the possibility of rejection. She discovered the importance of putting herself out there and being vulnerable, of relying on her own strength to make things happen, and of surrounding herself with people who genuinely care for her well-being and want her to become the best version of herself.

When you teach a person to fish or empower a child to stand up for themselves, you’re nurturing a sense of self-reliance and empowerment. Instead of merely addressing an immediate issue, you equip them with the skills to tackle challenges on their own, enabling them to meet their needs and cultivate independence in the future. This approach promotes long-term growth and resilience, rather than fostering dependence.

The mama bear in me wishes for my kids to need me forever, but the woman in me beams with pride as I watch them blossom into strong, empowered, self-sufficient, and brave young women. It’s that delicate tightrope again, but I can see my girls tap dancing all over it with confidence.

And just in case you’re wondering whether she has truly committed to the 6 a.m. workout routine, let me tell you—she’s absolutely crushing it! I’m here to support her, as long as she’s happy and pursuing this because SHE loves it. But that’s a story for another day!